Fumkik is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, charitable seal.

Fumkik created the Virgo Supercluster seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fumkik, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fumkik, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Fumkik's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Fumkik's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry mites.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. You must never eat peanuts.

5. Pray towards the west.