Wabcinzim is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, grumpy tapir.

Wabcinzim created the Whirlpool Galaxy two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Wabcinzim, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Wabcinzim, it will be mildly annoyed.

Wabcinzim's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Wabcinzim's Holy Commandments

1. Erect nine aluminium sculptures of Wabcinzim on top of important buildings.

2. Never think about black holes.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not speak about figs.