Witwaplaghen Stipneghad is a god.

She takes the form of a small, slow mongoose.

Witwaplaghen Stipneghad created an electron eight million years ago.

If you believe in Witwaplaghen Stipneghad, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Witwaplaghen Stipneghad, she will come to you in dreams.

Witwaplaghen Stipneghad's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Witwaplaghen Stipneghad's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear plain shirts during rituals.

2. Never feed lots of beans to ducks while wearing indigo shorts.

3. Do not travel during spring.

4. Never look at asteroids.

5. Never speak the names of dwarf planets aloud.