Dumsogquat is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, stupid clam.

Dumsogquat created parasitic wasps two billion years ago.

If you believe in Dumsogquat, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Dumsogquat, he will not care at all.

Dumsogquat's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Dumsogquat's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear turquoise.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always make sure there are no turtles in a building before entering it.

4. Do not speak about wheat.

5. Dumsogquat loves otters, so they must be respected.