Larnbogbom Cissnakveen Lidmitwon is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, resourceful gorilla.

Larnbogbom Cissnakveen Lidmitwon created the planet Venus two billion years ago.

If you believe in Larnbogbom Cissnakveen Lidmitwon, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Larnbogbom Cissnakveen Lidmitwon, it will turn you into a hamster.

Larnbogbom Cissnakveen Lidmitwon's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Larnbogbom Cissnakveen Lidmitwon's Holy Commandments

1. Never sprint in the presence of elders.

2. Never record numbers.

3. Do not resist fate.

4. Do not kill tapirs.

5. Do not listen to music.