Quatlunbed is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, all-knowing wasp.

Quatlunbed created tapeworms four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatlunbed, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Quatlunbed, it will turn you into a slug.

Quatlunbed's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Quatlunbed's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Quatlunbed.

2. Never think about thermodynamics near great tits while wearing mauve skirts and balancing four gold spheres on your back.

3. Never mention bats.

4. Nematodes are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.