Nurlwoncuss is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, uncaring clam.

Nurlwoncuss created the planet Mars five billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlwoncuss, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nurlwoncuss, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Nurlwoncuss' most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Nurlwoncuss' Holy Commandments

1. Nematodes are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never look at nebulae.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not eat lemons.

5. Never eat bark.