Nartonkwit is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, fussy dragon.

Nartonkwit created humankind nine million years ago.

If you believe in Nartonkwit, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Nartonkwit, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Nartonkwit's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Nartonkwit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Nartonkwit.

3. Do not bounce in public.

4. Never wear red trousers.

5. Never go into pink rooms.