Cetpashudbosspog is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, humorless spider.

Cetpashudbosspog created a Higgs boson four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cetpashudbosspog, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Cetpashudbosspog, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Cetpashudbosspog's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Cetpashudbosspog's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.

2. Never write about cell theory.

3. Never feed figs to moths while wearing brown tights.

4. Retreat if nine ants approach from the east.

5. Respect your elders.