Damfudjan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, unfair grasshopper.

Damfudjan created time and space seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Damfudjan, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Damfudjan, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Damfudjan's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Damfudjan's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat turtles with great respect.

2. Never hop in the presence of porpoises.

3. Do not wear aluminium on your body.

4. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Damfudjan in the centre of the settlement.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.