Larppaddut is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, conceited bat.

Larppaddut created light nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Larppaddut, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Larppaddut, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Larppaddut's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Larppaddut's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear orange skirts.

2. Do not eat turnips.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Always help moths.

5. Never think ill of sick monkeys.
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