Gumvilflap is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, selfish fly.

Gumvilflap created dark matter eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gumvilflap, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gumvilflap, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Gumvilflap's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Gumvilflap's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not hurt squirrels.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.