Gonmotmin is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, caring goblin.

Gonmotmin created a charm quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Gonmotmin, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gonmotmin, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Gonmotmin's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Gonmotmin's Holy Commandments

1. Gonmotmin must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Dogs are not to be trusted.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gonmotmin.

4. Learn three new languages a year.

5. Do not take Gonmotmin's name in vain.