Tunhotbot Nurthunban is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, witty aardvark.

Tunhotbot Nurthunban created oxygen five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tunhotbot Nurthunban, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tunhotbot Nurthunban, she will cry a lot.

Tunhotbot Nurthunban's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Tunhotbot Nurthunban's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep nine turtles in a large pit.

2. Never mention ducks.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tunhotbot Nurthunban.

4. Never think about ultrasonics.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Tunhotbot Nurthunban.