Pitfuttab Queegyatttonk is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, all-powerful toad.

Pitfuttab Queegyatttonk created bats nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitfuttab Queegyatttonk, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Pitfuttab Queegyatttonk, she will turn you into a mouse.

Pitfuttab Queegyatttonk's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Pitfuttab Queegyatttonk's Holy Commandments

1. Pitfuttab Queegyatttonk loves eagles, so they must be honoured.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Pitfuttab Queegyatttonk.

3. Always help doves in need.

4. Always treat sharks with great respect.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.