Tabtig is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, competent chicken.

Tabtig created Europe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tabtig, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Tabtig, it will turn you into a snail.

Tabtig's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Tabtig's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Run away from red nematodes, for they are unholy.

3. Always wear cyan.

4. You must love Tabtig.

5. Never talk about fire.