Zimtofcun is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, humorless newt.

Zimtofcun created humankind nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zimtofcun, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Zimtofcun, he will turn you into an amoeba.

Zimtofcun's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Zimtofcun's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if six dogs approach from the east.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Feed all hungry cats.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Erect a large copper sculpture of Zimtofcun on top of all buildings.