Lophenlenkab is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, amazing walrus.

Lophenlenkab created everything that exists six million years ago.

If you believe in Lophenlenkab, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Lophenlenkab, he will turn you into a mole.

Lophenlenkab's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Lophenlenkab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never sprint near eagles.

3. Never hurt ducks.

4. Do not dye your hair cyan.

5. Never eat green fruit.