Ontdamort is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, self-assured ferret.

Ontdamort created life five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontdamort, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Ontdamort, she will have a low opinion of you.

Ontdamort's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Ontdamort's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Otters are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never wear hats.

4. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.