Hugquamrat is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, grumpy capybara.

Hugquamrat created a down quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Hugquamrat, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Hugquamrat, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Hugquamrat's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Hugquamrat's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Run away if seven gulls approach from the north.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Always obey Hugquamrat's priests.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.