Cudsatwab is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, all-knowing penguin.

Cudsatwab created energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Cudsatwab, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Cudsatwab, she will think nothing of it.

Cudsatwab's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Cudsatwab's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Cudsatwab.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force near otters while wearing red boots and balancing seven titanium spheres on your arms.

4. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in mauve.

5. Never play with disobedient children.