Artvilrap is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, fast dryad.

Artvilrap created an electron eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Artvilrap, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Artvilrap, it will turn you into a duck.

Artvilrap's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Artvilrap's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never wear stockings.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Always obey Artvilrap's priests.