Flamlakarm is a god.

It takes the form of a small, dishonourable fox.

Flamlakarm created dark matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Flamlakarm, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Flamlakarm, it will send you a sign.

Flamlakarm's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Flamlakarm's Holy Commandments

1. Never record numbers.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Never mark doors with gray.

4. Always remove scarves before touching titanium.

5. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.