Yimspagfeb is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, tiresome rat.

Yimspagfeb created the Virgo Supercluster four billion years ago.

If you believe in Yimspagfeb, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Yimspagfeb, she will turn you into a dog.

Yimspagfeb's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Yimspagfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Yimspagfeb.

2. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Yimspagfeb loves voles, so they must be respected.

4. Never feed lemons to horses while wearing cyan stockings.

5. Do not make images of living things.