Jabhapbut is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, witless fish.

Jabhapbut created water four years ago.

If you believe in Jabhapbut, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Jabhapbut, it will not care at all.

Jabhapbut's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Jabhapbut's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark matter near geese while wearing violet kilts and balancing five titanium spheres on your legs.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not fashion sacred items from ash.

4. Never point your face toward the east during prayer.

5. Never eat figs on fasting days.