Kamvedflam is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, conceited wolf.

Kamvedflam created bats three billion years ago.

If you believe in Kamvedflam, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Kamvedflam, he will manifest in front of you.

Kamvedflam's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Kamvedflam's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Never feed cucumbers to aardvarks while wearing mauve dresses.

4. Worship no other gods but Kamvedflam.

5. Never hop in the presence of birds.