Xendunhon is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, irritating lobster.

Xendunhon created the Cigar Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xendunhon, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Xendunhon, she will turn you into a rock.

Xendunhon's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Xendunhon's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick porpoises.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics near monkeys while wearing orange ear rings.