Ditkanduss is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, calm cobra.

Ditkanduss created the universe five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditkanduss, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Ditkanduss, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Ditkanduss' most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Ditkanduss' Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Ditkanduss must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Ditkanduss loves ducks, so they must be respected.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.