Kabjighogcet is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, proud naga.

Kabjighogcet created the Milkyway four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabjighogcet, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Kabjighogcet, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Kabjighogcet's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Kabjighogcet's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant in holy places.

2. Do not laugh in public.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Kabjighogcet must be the most important thing in your life.