Quartsogwot Lopyarflam is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, loving eagle.

Quartsogwot Lopyarflam created the Virgo Supercluster three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quartsogwot Lopyarflam, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Quartsogwot Lopyarflam, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Quartsogwot Lopyarflam's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Quartsogwot Lopyarflam's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always wear yellow.

3. Never hop in holy places.

4. Erect a large silver sculpture of Quartsogwot Lopyarflam on top of all buildings.

5. Always help voles.