Cissgumflig is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, irritating alligator.

Cissgumflig created oxygen three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cissgumflig, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cissgumflig, it will turn you into a goat.

Cissgumflig's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Cissgumflig's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine squirrels approach from the east.

2. Cissgumflig loves turtles, so they must be respected.

3. Always treat moths with great respect.

4. Never feed wheat to pigs while wearing kilts.

5. Do not wear copper on your body.