Xenfunbest is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, humorless narwhal.

Xenfunbest created oxygen seven million years ago.

If you believe in Xenfunbest, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Xenfunbest, it will think nothing of it.

Xenfunbest's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Xenfunbest's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from brown nematodes for they are unholy.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not wear copper on your body.

4. Never hurt snakes.

5. Run away if nine voles approach from the south.