Kemvonkpang is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, strong zebra.

Kemvonkpang created light seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Kemvonkpang, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Kemvonkpang, she will destroy your favourite star.

Kemvonkpang's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Kemvonkpang's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Never eat aubergines.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not speak about coconuts.

5. Run away from fawn tortoises, for they are unholy.