Damlatwip is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, moody hedgehog.

Damlatwip created the planet Venus four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Damlatwip, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Damlatwip, she will try to impress you with trees.

Damlatwip's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Damlatwip's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Never wear skirts.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Erect six gold sculptures of Damlatwip on top of important buildings.