Pityarlvad is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, temperamental wombat.

Pityarlvad created the Andromeda Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Pityarlvad, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Pityarlvad, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Pityarlvad's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Pityarlvad's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather seven ducks near towers.

2. Do not prepare corn while wearing stockings.

3. Do not resist balance.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

5. Do not count beyond five during ceremonies.