Sanzodhim Cetvabstik is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, kind cow.

Sanzodhim Cetvabstik created bats four billion years ago.

If you believe in Sanzodhim Cetvabstik, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Sanzodhim Cetvabstik, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Sanzodhim Cetvabstik's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Sanzodhim Cetvabstik's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear pink.

2. Sanzodhim Cetvabstik must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Always obey Sanzodhim Cetvabstik's priests.

4. Retreat if six snakes approach from the west.

5. Do not place aubergines upon stone.