Sogcebsand is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, moody seal.

Sogcebsand created the solar system four million years ago.

If you believe in Sogcebsand, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Sogcebsand, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Sogcebsand's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Sogcebsand's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of onions to monkeys while wearing violet stockings.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Sogcebsand.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.