Tarpyikrow is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, amazing owl.

Tarpyikrow created Europe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tarpyikrow, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Tarpyikrow, he will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Tarpyikrow's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Tarpyikrow's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip near snails.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silver.

3. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Hide if five sheep approach from the north.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.