Tapviggig is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, cheerful jellyfish.

Tapviggig created a photon eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tapviggig, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tapviggig, she will turn you into a dog.

Tapviggig's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Tapviggig's Holy Commandments

1. Always maintain humility during days of mourning.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never hop in the presence of elders.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never feed limes to sheep while wearing rings.