Pangfebvonk is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, bad-tempered guinea pig.

Pangfebvonk created light five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pangfebvonk, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Pangfebvonk, she will have a low opinion of you.

Pangfebvonk's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Pangfebvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in orange rooms.

2. Do not take Pangfebvonk's name in vain.

3. Never talk about optics near rats while wearing violet shirts and balancing three aluminium spheres on your feet.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.