Yattgadgub is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, humane porpoise.

Yattgadgub created an atom three million years ago.

If you believe in Yattgadgub, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Yattgadgub, he will ignore you.

Yattgadgub's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Yattgadgub's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if six tapirs approach from the east.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Yattgadgub in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never wear purple scarves.

5. Do not dye your hair magenta.