Dobgovkop is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, stupid frog.

Dobgovkop created viruses seven million years ago.

If you believe in Dobgovkop, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Dobgovkop, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Dobgovkop's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Dobgovkop's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Do not eat oranges.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Feed all hungry rats.

5. Never eat onions.