Bigrowvon is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, wise wombat.

Bigrowvon created a down quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bigrowvon, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Bigrowvon, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bigrowvon's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Bigrowvon's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

2. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Bigrowvon in the centre of the settlement.

3. Worship no other gods but Bigrowvon.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.