Stiphubjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, loving gerbil.

Stiphubjarn created bats nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stiphubjarn, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Stiphubjarn, it will not invite you to parties.

Stiphubjarn's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Stiphubjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into mauve rooms.

2. Never write about galaxies.

3. Do not trade with those who eat figs.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Do not dye your hair purple.