Barnrakvanbom is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, unfair giraffe.

Barnrakvanbom created the Black Eye Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Barnrakvanbom, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Barnrakvanbom, it will torture you forever.

Barnrakvanbom's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Barnrakvanbom's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about galaxies.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never think ill of sick capybaras.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never write about electromagnetism.