Quafmadyimgumkin is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, selfish fish.

Quafmadyimgumkin created a strange quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Quafmadyimgumkin, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Quafmadyimgumkin, she will turn you into a rock.

Quafmadyimgumkin's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Quafmadyimgumkin's Holy Commandments

1. Quafmadyimgumkin loves snakes, so they must be honoured.

2. Never think ill of sick bats.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate cats.

4. Never feed limes to dogs while wearing corsets.

5. Never think about chromosomes.