Minquatsaw is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, humane cow.

Minquatsaw created an up quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Minquatsaw, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Minquatsaw, he will turn you into a hamster.

Minquatsaw's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Minquatsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about asteroids.

2. Never think ill of sick snakes.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never talk about geese.

5. Do not stand on grass.