Kaprotcub is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, loving crab.

Kaprotcub created the Sun eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kaprotcub, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Kaprotcub, it will strike you with lightening.

Kaprotcub's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Kaprotcub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Put Kaprotcub first in all things.

3. Never mention manatees.

4. Retreat if nine birds approach from the south.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.