Dumsaknib is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, passionate human.

Dumsaknib created tapeworms seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dumsaknib, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Dumsaknib, she will think nothing of it.

Dumsaknib's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Dumsaknib's Holy Commandments

1. Always help great tits in need.

2. Never talk about chromosomes.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of iron.

4. Do not drink water in black rooms.

5. Never think about stars.