Flabappbell is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, tranquil aardvark.

Flabappbell created the Sombrero Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flabappbell, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Flabappbell, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Flabappbell's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Flabappbell's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if eight frogs approach from the north.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Flabappbell.

3. Do not contemplate dark matter during the night.

4. Never wear turquoise stockings.

5. Never adorn your neck with gray markings.