Fagbudgom is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, effective lobster.

Fagbudgom created a top quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Fagbudgom, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fagbudgom, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Fagbudgom's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Fagbudgom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never feed onions to nematodes while wearing green trousers.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not speak about tomatoes.

5. Never pour water over plants.